Will Ferrell for President

To:  American Voters

Will Ferrell is the voice of a new generation of voters.

His humor, eccentricity, and uncanny ability to work a crowd are just a few reasons why we want to elect Will Ferrell as the next President of the United States of America. Here are a few other reasons why Will Ferrell should run America:

1. Fellow actors-turned-politicians Arnold Schwarzenneger and Ronald Reagan have already proven that debonair good looks and on-screen charm are some of the most important qualities the new leader of the free-world should have.

2. If you look at one of Mr. Ferrell's works entitled, "Old School", it is clear that Mr. Ferrell is a cordial houseguest and a loving husband. When his peers urge him to consume alcohol, he turns them down in order to preserve his wifes wishes.
(Will Ferrell: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Ferrell: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.)
Mr. Ferrell also exhibited leadership in one particular scene where he tried to organized a rally through the center of town ("We're going streaking!!!")

Clearly Mr. Ferrell is the best candidate for the job. Whereas his opponent Mr. Bush has used force and scare-tactics in dealing with Iraq, Mr. Ferrell would have used sarcasm and sketch-humour to persuade Saddam Hussein out of office.

In COMPLETE UNISON, across the country, people will be chanting:

Bush wages too much war.
Kerry is a liberal whore.
Vote Ferrell in 2004

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Will Ferrell for President Petition to American Voters was created by Crown Jewels Underwear (mycrownjewels.com) and written by David Rock.  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.

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