Eddie Murphy Forced Retirement

To:  Eddie Murphy

Eddie Murphy:

We remember when you were once considered to be a cutting-edge comedian. We remember looking forward to your work. We remember when you were a safe bet.

That was a long, long time ago. For over ten years, you've been cynically cranking out brain-dead, focus-marketed Comedies-By-Number. You have become a ridiculous man; you are the joke and the punchline, Eddie Murphy, but we're not laughing with you.

Your unwavering commitment to the Paycheck, to the Brand Name, to the Family-Friendly Fart Joke, is forcing us to go back and seriously reassess your older work. Were you ever really all that funny, all that talented? We wonder, Eddie Murphy, if it isn't time for you to hang it up.

Just stop. We've grown tired of your face and of your voice. You're a party guest that won't leave, that won't even take the lampshade off of your head while the hosts are stacking the dishwasher and excusing themselves to change into pajamas. Take your cash and disappear. Devote your time to charity work; your name still has clout, for reasons we cannot understand, so put it to good use.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Eddie Murphy Forced Retirement Petition to Eddie Murphy was created by and written by Josh Frost (pacificnovelty@gmail.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.