If You Don't Float, You Have Our Vote
Christian Voters from the Real America
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In 1630, when Puritan John Winthrop stood on the deck of the Arbella and pointed with his gun at Boston Harbor to declare that here we would build a "City Upon a Hill," he announced his intention to create a new Godly society that, secure in its right to bear arms, would reflect its glory in the eyes of the world.
Boston was built upon that hill, and there we laid the first stones of a new Christian Republic. Near those stones, on the Charles River, we also drowned witches. This was the Puritan practice of Trial by Drowning, whereby a woman was thrown in water, and if she floated, it proved her unholy union with the Prince of Lies.
Recent evidence proves that the alleged Christian candidate, Ms. O'Donnell, "dabbled in" witchcraft. Like all witches, she sought to cover up these acts and, when found out, dismissed them as harmless. We demand that O'Donnell endure Trial by Drowning to establish where her loyalties truly lie. With Jesus Christ, liberty and the United States? Or with paganism, income redistribution and tyranny?
If Ms. O'Donnell is sincere in her faith, she can have nothing to hide. She must meet this challenge. If her fidelity is proved, we will enthusiastically and unreservedly vote for her. If not, we will abstain this election season.
Face your constituents, Ms. O'Donnell. If you don't float, you have our vote.