Let's Replace Columbus Day

To:  US CONGRESS

We, the undersigned, being bigger fans of Tor, and lesser of Columbus, do hereby demand- Deeeeeeee-MAND! Tor have her own nationally recognized holiday for the following reason (aside from the one where we like her moreso than Columbus):

SHE GETS LOST ALL THE TIME! She has turned becoming lost into an artform. She has managed to get lost WITH a GPS system to the point even the GPS has no idea where she is, or even a suggestion (such as "turn around"). The GPS also does not even attempt to do this: "Re-calculating route."

Tor has been lost trying to find a CASH MACHINE less than 10 miles from her starting point, while having been thru the area numberous times. Not only did she not find a cash machine, she ended up 80 miles off target, headed into the mountains.

Tor has also managed to get lost in Suquamish, Washington. Suquamish. Look at your maps people. This should not be possible.

Being that Tor's ancestry can be traced back validating her descendency of TRUE Americans (Native American Descent) she should have this holiday over Columbus, who we admit is also a moron proving all kinds of lost, but still not a true NATIVE of the Americas. Tor is not just an Indian. She is an Indian Princess, daughter of Chief Kolchote of the Ozette Village. This would be far more attractive on a coin.

We thereby respectfully request Columbus Day, being an abhorance and insult to true Native Americans, be replaced with Tor's Day, the day we recognize Tor's ability to get lost, and yet continue on with a smile!

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Let's Replace Columbus Day Petition to US CONGRESS was created by and written by TOR PARKER (makah40f3@yahoo.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.