To: U.S. Congress



We, the undersigned, come together to request that each of the governing bodies of Congress take the necessary actions to ratify the National Slap An Asshole Coworker Law.

Our request is based on the following:

We the undersigned and people of the United States have had enough of ignorant ass coworkers just thinking they can say and do whatever they want with no consequences.
We believe that a number of special interest groups are blocking the ratification because they fear the treatment may impede upon their specific rights. FUCK THEY RIGHTS!! What about my right to not have to deal with your stupid ass!! These groups include but are not limited to select pro-choice groups, death penalty advocates, and staunch supporters of capitalism who fear the involvement of government in what they consider being private affairs.

We understand that our work space should be protected and respected, and therefore we ask for the right to defend these rights with extreme slap violence. We believe the National Slap An Asshole Coworker Law supports this view in every way and in no way comprises it.
Sincerely,
The Undersigned