Send Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer a Blue Dress

To:  Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer

As the newly designated White House interns for FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) reform, Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer are in desperate need of new Blue Dress uniforms which they have so deservedly earned for their eager "service" to President George W. Bush.

Ever since Ms. Pelosi (let's just call her "Monica," shall we?) took impeachment off the table, she's been looking for new ways to please her man. So, on June 19, 2008, she and Steny Hoyer revealed their latest enticement to the President: a FISA reform bill with guaranteed immunity for telecoms that knowingly broke the law and helped Mr. Bush spy illegally on thousands, perhaps millions, of innocent Americans.

This law, with the official designation of H.R. 6304, was misleadingly presented as the best "compromise" the Democratic majority in the House could negotiate, despite their abundant talents for persuasion. And what a compromise it is--hotter than a threesome in July!

Although FISA reform might not restore honor and dignity to the White House, it certainly provides a blanket of secrecy that will prevent Mr. Bush and the telecoms from being held accountable for their illegal wiretapping programs. And Democrats in the House and Senate who knew about, and did nothing to stop these illicit activities for approximately the last six years (Jay Rockefeller, Diane Feinstein, and who knows how many others got into the act?) can certainly be thankful for that. Since they're all voting for the bill, let's send each of them a Blue Dress too (stains optional)!

Finally, let's not forget Senator Barack Obama. Although a newcomer to the swinging FISA reform scene who was a little reluctant at first, he's recently hooked up with some of the more experienced members and seems to be joining in the fun with gusto. He might look good in a Blue Dress!

In fact, any Representative or Senator that is likely to vote "yes" on the FISA reform bill should be entitled to receive a new Blue Dress uniform. They might feel left out if they don't get one.

Here's where you can order the Official White House Intern Blue Dress:

http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?searchCID=26519&pid=588948&scid=588948032&vid=-1

And here's where you can find out where to send your representative his or her sexy new Blue Dress:
http://www.gpoaccess.gov/cdirectory/index.html

Maybe it's not as cute as the original that Monica wore http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/clinton/lewinskydress.html
but it's a reasonable facsimile, don't you think? And the nifty part is, if everyone in Congress who votes for the FISA reform bill gets one, we won't have to worry about our representatives being improperly attired when our pesky 4th Amendment rights are being eviscerated, ever again!

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Send Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer a Blue Dress Petition to Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer was created by and written by Stephen Dedalus (wstoleit@yahoo.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.