Just Say No to Pre-Marital Vacuum Sex

To:  the American people

In light of recent events (a man in Michigan was arrested for making love to a car wash vacuum, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081018/ap_on_fe_st/odd_vacuum_sex), we wish to urge the American people to commit to a lifelong vow of celibacy with your vacuum until such time is appropriate in the eyes of our loved ones and our God.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Just Say No to Pre-Marital Vacuum Sex Petition to the American people was created by and written by DC Head Honcho (dumbcriminals.com@gmail.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.