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A Modest Proposal Concerning the Personal Fortunes of One Mike Tyson.

 

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To:  U.S. Congress.

On behalf of the Citizens in Mike Tyson's Honor Committee (CMTHC), I hereby object to all legal proceedings involving Mike Tyson and his alleged bankruptcy. This ludicrous situation has gotten out of control, and CMTHC has recently galvanized in an attempt to head the situation off before all rationality is lost.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Tyson is a pillar of our community. Mike Tyson single-handedly invented boxing as a sport that normal people actually watch. Other accomplishments by Mike include letting pidgeons eat out of his mouth, but doesn't this just show that he is a normal guy like you and me?

Haven't we all let pidgeons eat out of our mouths from time time? It's time that we forgot every bad thing Mike Tyson has ever done, and remember the good old times, when he used to punch the face off every person in existence and was officially the most dynamic sports superstar in the world.

Sadly, those times have passed now; these days Mike Tyson gets beaten up by idiotic british men, and Mike cannot even afford to spend $320,000 on mobile phones anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen, this injustice has to stop. CMTHC feels that Mike Tyson has earnt his place as the most perfect boxer to ever exist, and we hereby petition for a global Mike Tyson Benefit Tax.

This tax would be nothing major; it would just involve everyone on Earth being forced to give 11% of their gross annual income to Mike Tyson. CMTHC believes that this sensible geopolitical strategy will allow Mike Tyson to never become poor again, and that after all, is the main thing.

So every person on Earth should sign this petition until it officially becomes some sort of law, and if you don't sign this petition you are automatically a loser.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

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The A Modest Proposal Concerning the Personal Fortunes of One Mike Tyson. Petition to U.S. Congress. was created by Everyone in the world. and written by Milton John.  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.

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