Dear President Obama,

Many Americans worship the great man who goes by the name of Chuck Norris. He has his own TV show, he has his own website, and (if the world is as great a place as I hope it is) he will have his own religion. Therefore, I find it extremely important that a single day in the calendar is declared National Chuck Norris Appreciation Day. This is a man who is deserving, as he has accomplished so much, come such a long way (since Walker, Texas Ranger), and is simply Chuck Norris. I seriously urge you to immediately declare this national holiday.

Sincerely, The Undersigned