We the undersigned, do hereby petition any damn publisher worth their salt, to publish the DCs new biography, The Dalai Camel The New Messiah in Town!

But understand this: We the undersigned are not interested in just any run-of-the-mill novel manufacturer! No, we the undersigned want only the best for our new Messiah only because he makes us laugh our friggin spiritual asses off!

He therefore deserves the worldwide attention that is possibly destined to come his way. And we the proud, the few, the undersigned - mean to expedite that process!

So if you do not possess the means to turn a silly manuscript into Numero Fn Uno on The New York Times Best Seller list, then hit the road, Jack! But if you are a large publisher, then you should count your sweet blessings, because you are being given this opportunity to help his Holiness, The Dalai Camel, which means youve just doubled the number of blessings you have in store for you!

And so we thank you knowing full well it is you who should be thanking us for this great and hallowed (hollow) opportunity.