We the undersigned, do hereby petition any damn publisher worth their salt, to publish the DCs new biography, The Dalai Camel The New Messiah in Town!

But understand this: We the undersigned are not interested in just any run-of-the-mill book manufacturing company! No, we the undersigned want only the best for our new Messiah only because he makes us laugh our spiritual asses off! He therefore deserves the worldwide attention destined to come his way. And we, the undersigned mean to bring it to him! (Hes actually kind of a douchebag, but we still like him, okay?)

So if you do not possess the means to turn a silly manuscript into a number one best seller, then hit the road, Jack! But if you are a large publisher, then you should count your blessings, because you are being given this opportunity to help his Holiness, The Dalai Camel, which means you just doubled the number of blessings you have in store for you and your company!

We thank you knowing full well it is you who should be thanking us for this great and hallowed (hollow) opportunity.