Kids SHOULD Be Heard As Well As Seen!

To:  Judge Stephen Rideout

I am speaking up for the tens of thousands of kids who report being abused and/or sexually molested and are not heard by the family law system. This is because of who the predators are, how much power the predators have or the amount of legal funds they have at their disposal to suppress our reporting these events.

My name is Desiree Nelson and I am 14 years old. For the past 2 years, I have reported being ‘messed with’ by my biological father, Edward Bongiovanni (4901 Seminary Road, Apt. 1007, Alexandria, VA 22311 – e: EasyEdB@aol.com or LowPope@aol.com, his porn chat name he uses) not only to my psychologist but to my Guardian ad Litem assigned to me (Jonathan Westreich) by the Alexandria Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge (Judge Stephen Rideout).

I have reported this sexual predator’s countless actions of touching me in inappropriate fashions, finding him on top of me in the middle of the night on forced visitations to Virginia from my home in California, cybering online in my presence during these visitations, constantly evading my privacy during showering and refusing to leave once he has barged into the bathroom which does not have a lock on it, the kiddie porn on his computer, his constant initiation of ‘sex talks’ with me, etc.

Because I am ‘just a kid’ as the Guardian ad Litem has told me countless times, what I have to say does not carry any weight in the Alexandria family law court room. I have constantly asked to be allowed to speak directly to the judge and to this, I was told by the Guardian ad Litem, my request is inappropriate and the judge has refused to speak with me as well.

At 14, the ‘system’ has found me mature and responsible enough to take (and pass) Driver’s Ed, which has me handling a motor vehicle that can easily kill someone. In the past 3 years, I have twice been awarded the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence. I consistently maintain a GPA of 3.9 – 4.0. I am also a member of the Junior Honor Society and participate in many volunteer activities. The ‘system’ also allows me to have my own savings account and an ATM card – I am seen to be responsible enough to have my own credit card by my grandmother and grandpa. But the ‘system’ does not find me mature enough to speak up and say I want this abuse by my predator to be stopped.

If these things were going on because of some guy down the street, he would have been put in jail by now. But because the predator is my biological father, the State of Virginia views his parental rights as a license to abuse and molest me without any consequences to his harmful, hurtful and disgusting actions.

In 1999, my psychologist testified that I did NOT have Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). The following year, Judge Rideout attended a PAS seminar and diagnosed me from the bench as a ‘classic case of PAS.’ I believe it is the judge’s job to rule on evidence brought to him, not diagnose psychological items based upon his own personal views.

I have asked the courts and anyone else that will listen to me, to STOP this abuse of me by my sexual predator and my pleadings have fallen onto deaf ears each and every time. Many other kids I have spoken with who are going through the same types of situations say the same thing – because we are ‘kids’ by the laws, what we say or report has no value in the legal hearings that go on around us.

I have written to the governor of my state, the senators in both Virginia and California and even the President’s wife, begging for relief from these horrible, horrible experiences. My mother and daddy (Linda and Paul Nelson) have consistently supported me and encouraged me to express my viewpoints based upon my own analysis and personal experiences – they do not ‘brainwash’ me as my sexual predator and his attorney portray to the courts.

But because I have come forth and been interviewed by the CA CPS agency, revealing all the details of the things that have gone on for the past 11 years, my predator, the judge and even the State of Virginia wish to squash all of my reporting of these abuses – to the point they wish to put my mother in jail if she does not send me back into the hands of my sexual predator!

I have begged EVERYONE for my daddy (Paul Nelson) to be allowed to adopt me so that my future is secure – that I will be allowed to go to college under benefits his 27 years as a LAPD Detective would allow a legal daughter to receive. My daddy deserves the title of father because he has earned it – he does not hurt me, he provides for me, he loves me unconditionally, he is there for me each and every day.

And yet, the legal system gives him the title of ‘stepfather’ and not even the ability to sign my report card – while he supplies absolutely everything I need or want in my life, along with my mom. Because my sexual predator does not wish for this to happen, and does not provide for me, he has the ability to stop this adoption (and also has managed to avoid paying child support in any manner he can, effectively erasing the college fund my child support for 10 years was to provide as well).

I speak up not just for myself, but I speak up for the MANY kids that each and every day draw up enough courage from deep inside to report their abusers – and then find themselves being taken from their homes and directly into the hands of the abusers because the abusers have more money to spend on attorneys, can lie easier to the authorities and portray themselves as upright loving fathers who couldn’t possibly do such things to their children and in fact, are the reasons we don’t wish to undergo visitations in these horrible situations! We start fighting forced visitations not because of PAS but because we don’t wish to keep being hurt by these biological parents!

Because we kids cannot vote (yet), that does not mean we will forget all the times the legal system has shown us that what we have to say does not matter when it comes times for our votes to count in our country.

I speak for many kids in the same situations who say the legal system does not work for us kids. Because we have not yet reached that magical age of 18, that does not mean we are not mature enough to make decisions about who and where we want to spend our lives. We certainly know enough to know when something hurts, when someone is hurting us and why we want this to stop!

I ask all to sign my petition – that I be allowed to speak up – AND BE HEARD – about what I want to occur in my life. I ask that I am no longer forced to go on visitations with my sexual predator and be further abused as I have been for the past 11 years. I ask that I be allowed to be adopted by my daddy (Paul Nelson) and that the State of Virginia cease trying to put my mother in jail because I REFUSE to go on court-order visitations with my sexual predator.

I beg the State of Virginia to treat my sexual predator as any other predator – investigate what I have reported to officials and prosecute this, instead of refusing to do so. I ask to be treated as what I am – a human being capable of understanding that I am being harmed and begging it desperately to cease and cease immediately! I ask that I be allowed to grow up and heal from the horrible scars that I have and that all further attempts to harm me further (and my family) by my biological father are legally halted by the states of both Virginia and California.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Kids SHOULD Be Heard As Well As Seen! Petition to Judge Stephen Rideout was created by Children Without Choices and written by Desiree Nelson (Desiree000@aol.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.

Send this to a friend