Make Mardi Gras a Legal, National Holiday

  • Author:
    n/a
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    Mayor of New Orleans
  • Sponsored By:
    Dick's Last Resort
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On Tuesday, February 20, 2007 the streets of New Orleans will be lined with hundreds of thousands of people unified with one focus Mardi Gras.

Awe and excitement will fill the air as parade revelers enjoy the sounds of marching bands that flow through the city. Adults and children alike will use traditional and inventive techniques to engage the attention of those riding on floats in hopes of garnering beads, doubloons, plastic cups, or a surprise trinket.

And the rest of the country wants to be a part of it all.

Were tired of all the holidays marked with crappy greeting cards and overpriced obligatory presents. Just say no to popcorn tins and fruitcake! What could be better than people drinking in the streets and hot girls screaming for beads? We want a holiday thats a real party Mardi Gras.

Thats right, we want Mardi Gras to be declared a legal, national holiday.

Here are the top ten reasons why you should agree with us:

1. Theres no national, major holiday between Presidents Day and Memorial, at least not anything worth mentioning.

2. Hangovers on Ash Wednesday will no longer need excuses, they will be expected.

3. Doubloons could be used as a new form of national currency.

4. Purple, green, and gold should not be a bad fashion concept its a party statement.

5. The fashion rule No white after Labor Day would be complimented with No beads after Mardi Gras.

6. Fat Tuesday would no longer refer to a weekday when a woman feels bloated.

7. Parades would finally give high schools students a real reason to join band.

8. If you think elderly women are crazy during after Thanksgiving Day shopping, youve never seen one go after a doubloon under your shoe.

9. Biting into a baby wouldnt be a crimewhen its inside a king cake.

10. Three words: booze, beads, and babes!

Since everyone that loves Mardi Gras has a heart of gold, be sure to spread the spirit of Mardi Gras to the city of New Orleans. As part of the effort to make Mardi Gras a national, legal holiday, we will be making a donation to the New Orleans Recreation Department who lost nearly everything to Hurricane Katrina. All donations will be used to purchase new sports equipments for the kids. Make checks/money orders payable to the New Orleans Recreation Department. Open your hearts, and your wallets, and send your money to us:

Dicks Last Resort
Attn: NORD Donation
4514 Travis St., Suite 220
Dallas, TX 75205