Google Unfair to Pirates: Add a Pirate Theme to Gmail!

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ARRR! We, the Pirates of the Internets, assert that:

1. Pirates are vastly superior to Ninjas in all ways;
2. Every sea-dog worth his or her salt knows this obvious fact;
3. Yet Google has added a stylin' GMail theme for those worthless Ninjas! Therefore
4. Google is clearly in the pay of the Ninja landlubbers, and thus contemptible, and therefore
5. Google must walk the plank.

Google's only hope of avoiding Davy Jones' Locker: add a pirate theme to GMail!

As we pirates find Google quite useful for locating sources of rum, we would hate to force Google to walk the plank. The Internet Tubes don't work so well when they be full o' salt water. But if ye force us to it, it'll be the briny deep for ye.