We, the undersigned, hereby petition God, the Creator, appropriate divine beings, atheistic theories and scientific notions of a natural evolution, or any of their duly appointed representatives, to increase the length of the standard male and female orgasm.
Far be it for us to criticise the workings of any of these divine beings, if thats what you believe in, but we here agree that the pitiful length of the human orgasm is just one oversight in a supposedly ineffable plan that is not good enough, and we would like it changed.
Please consider this a firm and respectful request, or neither of these if coming from a secular party,