Designate Aaron Boone

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Spring was an exciting time for Indians Fans everywhere. Coming off an 80 win season last year, everyone was excited about the prospect of our team making a serious run at playoff contention. Our hopes were further bolstered by some experts predictions of a wild-card birth or winning the Central outright.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case. The team has struggled on offense and it unable to score runs at the rate that everyone had hoped. While baseball is a true team sport, the failure of this offense can be blamed on one single man: Aaron Boone.

36 games into this young season Mr. Boone has failed to hit his own weight, posting a comically anemic 0.142 average (His weight is listed at 200lbs). Coincidentally, his on-base percentage of 0.197 is also falls below this unfortunate metric. Mr. Boone has not faired any better in the slugging department either, placing dead last in the statistic among Major League third basemen.

Most remarkably, Aaron has amassed a statistically astounding -9.9 VORP rating so far this season. This is a number that is almost incomprehensible for an entire season, let alone 36 games!

For the sake of the Cleveland Indians season and future, the undersigned here demand that Aaron Boone be designated for assignment to the minor leagues.