Dear Santa,

We the Undersigned really think you should consider relocating to Hans Island. After all, with Global Warming, the polar ice cap where you are living now will melt soon, and Hans Island is nearby.

By moving to Hans Island, you would really be helping out Hans and Hans, who are the only residents of Hans Island. They are lonely, and would be happy to have some elves around. They would even help make toys. And with more people (and elves) living on the island, it would help with their Sovereignty issues. Like you, Santa, Hans and Hans are neutral in the war between Canada and Denmark. If you and the elves were living on Hans Island, it would increase the security and happiness of the Hanses greatly.

Thank you Santa! Please make the Christmas wishes of Hans and Hans come true!!