An open letter to God
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It has come to my attention that the world is a pretty unpleasant place. Supposedly you're the ultimate omnipotent benevolent entity, but I haven't seen much of this lately! Where is my Ferrari and harem of prostitutes? Eh? EH? I'm a nice kind of fellow so surely I deserve all this. But no, instead, it's the bad mofo's of this world who get the cash, chicks, and good looks! Just look at Bill gates! OK, bad example, but you get what I mean.
Furthermore, Mr. God. I haven't seen much evidence of your actual existence either. Sure, you did a few miracles and sent your son down, but that was 2000 years ago, and frankly any book that's 2000 years old is a little suspect if you ask me. (C'mon, the VIRGIN Mary? Who are you trying to kid, eh, God you stud!).
Basically, we the undersigned want immediate evidence of your existence, plus rewards for us being good boys and girls all our lives. Do this (a trifling feat considering you made the world in 7 days), and I'll be happy to go to church and stuff like that. Come on God, don't dissapoint us!