Today, I renounce Satan and I renounce my homosexuality in the interest of keeping America strong and winning the war on terror. I realize that my homosexuality allows countries that hate America to mock the United States because my homosexuality spits in the face of God. My sinful lust for those that are the same sex as I puts America's light of freedom and democracy under a bushel. It now becomes clear to me that the only way to truly defeat islamo-nazi-fascist terrorism is to allow that light to shine at its full strenghth by returning to the heterosexuality God created me with and live an unblemished life of morality and devotion to Jesus.

This I now do with the full knowledge that America needs everyone to do their part.