Dear BBC,

'The X Factor' is trouncing 'Strictly Come Dancing' in the ratings, apparently. Depressing? Somewhat. Irreversible? Well, no.

Ian Huntley is a mentalist paedophile murderer. Can you picture him doing the paso doble on live TV with one of those orange, hook-nosed, midget EasyJet flight attendant look-alikes? Me neither which is why we need him on SCD.

I mean, think of the ratings, too. How could Cowell (someone who I suspect to be a closet zoophile, by the way) top that? Roy Whiting covering 'Parklife'? That's just stupid.

So, yeah. Make it happen and that.