ABOLISH MONDAYS

To:  American Citizens

By signing this petition, you will hereby acknowledge and promote the termination of "Mondays" and all ensuing stereotypes thereof. More specifically, you will support:
1. Irradication of the day; therefore shortening the week to six days.
2. Omitting stressful post-weekend work hours.
3. Providing 0% chance of a 'pop-quiz' or 'exam'.
4. Sacrificing "The Weakest Link", "The King of Queens", and old reruns of "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"
5. Having eight days on the French calendar as follows: MondayI, MondayII, Tuesdays, Workday, Thursday, Frenchday, Saturday, Sunday.
6. Having to work only four days a week (in most scenarios)
7. Preserving the calmness and relaxed state of any given "Tuesday".

Obviously, there are more, but they are not nearly as important. Also, it's easy to see that item #5 is completely optional. However, #7 is completely required. If we don't preserve the integrity of Tuesdays, then they may fall victim to a similar fate as Mondays.

All consequences will be treated as if Mondays never existed. Any flux in the space-time continuum will be regarded as a Galileian error--meaning legal action will be taken against those who failed in the study of astonomy during the Renaissance. We are not responsible for any type of gap or void between Sunday and Tuesday.

All people caught celebrating the characteristics of a Monday (especially on Sunday or Tuesday) will be deprived of their right of a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for their first offence. Second offence: they will be punished by law. Third offence: they will be sent to France. Fourth offence: Consequences determined by the French government.

In summation: Mondays are unjust. They are forms of cruel and unusual punishment. They must be abolished at all costs IMMEDIATELY. Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The ABOLISH MONDAYS Petition to American Citizens was created by USA and written by Rufus Hojo.  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no express or implied endorsement of this petition by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. The petition scripts are created by Mike Wheeler at Artifice, Inc.  For Technical Support please use our simple Petition Help form.

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