Mooses on the Move

To:  President of AMERICA

We the people of America declare Moose to be an impedance on progress towards oil independence from the middle east. And financial stability too. With the Moose gone we can freely drill for oil in Alaska without worrying about drilling through Moose.

The second amendment in the Bill of Rights from Congress gives us citizens “protection from all invaders, foreign and domestic, including Moose and all Moose-kind” This debauchery has GOT TO END!

We therefore suggest a compromise to the Moose leader to peacefully relocate all the Moose in Alaska to reservations in Manitoba, Canada. In compensation for the journey along the Trail of Moose Tears the Moose will be empowered to construct casinos on their reservations, equipped with 100% Moose employees and decedents with 50% or more Moose in their bloodline only. And FREE BLANKETS too.

Furthermore, we propose that the hockey team Manitoba Moose’s mascot be changed as it is offensive to Moose-kind. We propose the Manitoba Shrews.

The people of AMERICA stand strong! (these colors don’t run [from Mooses])

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Mooses on the Move Petition to President of AMERICA was created by citizens of AMERICA and written by Marty and Heraldo Fleck and Francswella (christopher.brinckma@navy.mil).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.