Shave Kyle Orton's Neckbeard

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From the shores of Lake Michigan to the black-smoked factories of Decatur and everywhere in between, we beg of you, Kyle Orton, shave your scraggly neckbeard.

We are aware of its superstitious properties you believe allow you to continue winning, but surely the pure ugliness that is your neckbeard far outweighs any positive benefit you may reap from sporting that hirsute nastiness.

Should you fail to at a bare minimum trim your neck-whiskers prior to the next time we spot your grisly, hideous visage in High Def, we shall be forced to boycott any and all Bears-related events, apparel, and other such products forthwith.

One last thing - we think it would be really nice if you shaved it into some sort of Jake Plummer-esque pornstache.