We, The Undersigned, believe that the Arby's mascot, Oven Mitt is evil and all use of said mascot should cease immediately. The idea of an amorphous, living, breathing oven mitt, while at first bland and boring, becomes revealed as something so unnatural, so abhorrent that any and all traces of its existence should be wiped from this earth. Being voiced by Tom Arnold doesn't help matters any. Oven Mitt's smarmy but bumbling demeanor belies its true intentions. Having received information from reliable sources, we are certain that Oven Mitt is fostering a false sense of security among Arby's employees and patrons alike, waiting for the right time to strike fast and hard against our way of life. We must stop it now before we are ground under the weight of its malevolent rule. It plans to rule with an Iron Mitt (tm), but we will not allow its fell plan to come to fruition!!!!!
We request, nay DEMAND that Arby's remove all advertising material containing said Mitt from its stores, cups, bags, television commercials, newspaper/magazine ads/bus stop posters, etc. All images of the Mitt must be destroyed, along with any documents detailing the Mitt's very existence as a corporate mascot. Also, Oven Mitt itself must be brought out to a mutually agreed upon place where The Undersigned can witness its execution. The lengthier, the better. Only then can we rest safe, knowing that the Mitt's machinations have been usurped.