Betelgeuse Supernova

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ATTN: Betelgeuse (α Ori, α Orionis, Alpha Orionis)

We, the following concerned Earthlings, hereby demand that you shall supernova with all immediate haste. It has been nearly a millennium since our globe has been graced with the fiery death of a stellar body and sadly our bodies have not, are not, and likely will not be able to live for such periods of time. It is for this reason that we require you to "go kablooey" (in the parlance of our time). For, we ascertain that we would harrumph approvingly if you were to supernova such that we had endless days while you shine brightly in the heavens.

You have had a good run in the galaxy and now your time has drawn and we demand for our celestial entertainment that you explode forthright.

P.S. We also especially request that care be taken to cause the light from this explosion to reach Earth at 23:23:23 on December 21, 2012 to really ratchet up the "crazy talk" from a subset of our population. So really, be sure you exploded on 3/05/1371. kthxbai!

44 Signatures

  • Matt Garber
    • Comments
    • Seriously, get on this
  • Nick Disabato
  • Pat
    • Comments
    • seriously, just supernova already
  • John Hanauer
    • Comments
    • boom goes the dynamite
  • Kevin Clair
    • Comments
    • dooooo ittttttttt
  • Hugues De Payens
    • Comments
    • fnord
  • Daniel Powers
    • Comments
    • do you know where YOUR towel is?
  • Johannes de Silentio
    • Comments
    • Take one for the team.
  • Benjamin I McKinney
  • Jonathan Woodard
    • Comments
    • Sweet.
  • Liam Flaherty
    • Comments
    • trve cavse. mvst svpport mister phil.
  • cameron hartofelis
  • John Schuchard
  • Asbart E. Shersad
    • Comments
    • HEAR YE HEAR YE!
  • Erin Watson
    • Comments
    • kablooey!
  • William Couch
  • Brian Matteson
  • ALFONSO F. DOGBALLS
    • Comments
    • Yes PleasE With All DUe Expediancy Thank you Bettle juice
  • Ben
    • Comments
    • В
  • Justin Blank
  • Matthew Mittelstadt
  • miss mashup
  • Douglas Muth
  • Hank Campbell
    • Comments
    • I am siding with the earthlings!
  • Sheldon W. Helms
    • Comments
    • Hear! Hear!
  • Dr. Gary L. Herstein
    • Comments
    • Die with a little dignity already ...
  • Daniel
  • Jerry M. Weikle
    • Comments
    • Betelgeuse, it is time for you to expire and become dust in the cosmos, to be reborn again in 1/2 a billion years as a solar system and a twin of Sol. We, have apprieciated your existance since our founding species first started upright walking. We, request, a Grand Emplosion and Explosion! So, be it....BOOM!
  • Max Bonito
    • Comments
    • Aye!
  • Paul Maher
  • Zaphod Beeblebrox
    • Comments
    • It's been nice knowing you old friend Have a good retirement. We'll miss you.
  • Sйbastien Wailliez
    • Comments
    • Really waiting for it but also very saddened by Orion's inevitable disfigurement. No more bowtie in the sky :-/
  • Jeremy P. Carlo
    • Comments
    • Yes! But please do it in the early summer, so you don't ruin deep-sky observing for us in the fall and winter. We'll be able to enjoy you in the early morning, and probably during the day too. (Unless you turn out to be highly underluminous, like SN 1987A or the Cas A supernova; I trust you won't wimp out and do that though.)
  • Fabian Xenofontous
    • Comments
    • And kindly refrain from frying fellow exhibitionists
  • Trevor
    • Comments
    • Go boom soon please!
  • Nubes
  • Walter Matthews
    • Comments
    • Please blew up at night so we in the westrn hemisphere can see it when it happened.
  • Alphonse D'Amici
    • Comments
    • Burn, baby, burn!!!
  • Pierre Arpin
    • Comments
    • A cosmic fireworks coming up !!!
  • Benjamin Woods
  • HellYeah!
    • Comments
    • "'))(script)alert("EXPLODE!!!!!")(/script)(('"
  • 42
    • Comments
    • As this SN has already occurred then it is only a matter of time till our DNA upgrade. Fe fi fo fum I sense the flash of a Red Giant.
  • alex
  • Julie
    • Comments
    • BAZINGA!