Boycott Kellogg's For Treatment Of Michael Phelps
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Kellogg's Corporation
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Whereas...
1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans
2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.
3)That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.
4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.
5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and took it and then later they sat in the living room and listened the Dark Side Of The Moon over and over and danced and laughed and I swear we smelled something.
John Harvey.
6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - john Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believe in putting children's genitals in a cage to keep them from playing with themselves and also believed in yogurt enemas.
7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.
8) That the thing about yogurt enemas makes us want to hurl when we look at that box of Kellogg's Yogos we have in the pantry.
9) That Michael Phelps should totally drop YOU dudes for your obsession with bran and fiber and masturbation and butts and stuff. You drop HIM? Dude won eight gold medals and probably didn't stick a single one in his butt or tie it in tourniquet around his naughty bits. Dude was just trying to relax. Seriously Kellogg's, WTF?
Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products.
And we're serious.
Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD.
1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans
2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.
3)That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.
4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.
5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and took it and then later they sat in the living room and listened the Dark Side Of The Moon over and over and danced and laughed and I swear we smelled something.
John Harvey.
6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - john Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believe in putting children's genitals in a cage to keep them from playing with themselves and also believed in yogurt enemas.
7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.
8) That the thing about yogurt enemas makes us want to hurl when we look at that box of Kellogg's Yogos we have in the pantry.
9) That Michael Phelps should totally drop YOU dudes for your obsession with bran and fiber and masturbation and butts and stuff. You drop HIM? Dude won eight gold medals and probably didn't stick a single one in his butt or tie it in tourniquet around his naughty bits. Dude was just trying to relax. Seriously Kellogg's, WTF?
Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products.
And we're serious.
Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD.
7129 Signatures
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Gemma
- Comments
- People's ignorance towards marijuana is so frustrating...and this is just ridiculous!
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Troy D
- Comments
- I am buying only Post & General Mills cereals and products from now on.
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Holly C
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Jayson N
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Joanie L
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- DO THE RIGHT THING!!!
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Jay d
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Daniel C
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Jorge
- Comments
- I will never again buy a product from Kellogs
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Aimee Elizabeth M
- Comments
- Legalize it and boycott Kellogg's
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Colbert H
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Breanna S
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Brandon M
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Dominic S
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- Come on, guys! Michael is probably the only person who's earned the right to chill out.
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jennifer m
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- Kellogg's, you are self righteous. Your products suck. You suck.
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tammy b
- Comments
- I agree!
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dave e
- Comments
- not nice dudes
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Tyler L
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dgmsiwm
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Jen C
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- this is rediculous! He's HUMAN!
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Joanna
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Joanie W
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- kelloggs, you suck at life, you intolerant twats
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Ian B
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- f you kelloggs. shiv's weak
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Rick J
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- I feel you should apologize to Mr. Phelps
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Tarah E D
- Comments
- Free the Weed! Legalize Marijuana!!
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Janet Johnson & Don R
- Comments
- smoking pot is almost an American tradition, and almost everyone has done it at one time or another!!
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Samuel E
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Tosha
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Christine Y
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Katelyn Malis LC Carroll Melissa O
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- ROCK ON!!! WE CONCUR!!!
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Alanah S
- Comments
- Amen
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Gina
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Susan
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cris c
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Mike B
- Comments
- What a wimp ass company!
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joe l
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- you have no business in drug policy of US
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fred
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Jenny L
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- You guys make a lot of money off stoners, then you do this, while your founder was a nut. What gives? Michael Phelps pwns you.
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Travis S
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Garrett W
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Shawn J
- Comments
- I will never buy a pop-tarts or cheeze its again in my life. And I will try my hardest to convince my friends and family not to as well.
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Mark
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- if you're so concerned with peoples' health, why do you market crappy products that contribute to childhood obesity?
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Sarah H
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Michael R. Marquardt, P
- Comments
- I mean, really Kellogg's...
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Kathy M
- Comments
- yeah, man
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Kylie B
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Matt
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Moshe F
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Dave M
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Andrew P
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7129
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