Dear Mr. Shia LaBeouf,

We, the undersigned, through this letter, request that you legally change your last name from "LaBeouf" to "LaWanker". The reason is because of the what I saw during my viewing of "Bobby". There was a nude scene where I almost saw your wanking stick and your back vajayjay. Since all of your fans remember you only for your nude scene, I think it is fitting that you change your name.

Thank you.