We, the undersigned believe passionately that Victoria Margaret ("Vicky") Conlan, hereafter known as 'Conlan', should create, and use daily, a Facebook account, for the purpose of supplementary communications with members of the popular newgay uk.sport.football, hereafter known as 'teh froup'.

If Conlan joined teh book of face, it would be a beautiful day for Conlan, for teh froup, and for teh book of face.

And that would rock bigley.