Gophers Should Be Forced to Wear Hats at All Times

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    Gophers and Hats
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I believe gophers should be forced to wear hats AT ALL TIMES.

462 Signatures

  • John Cochran
    • Comments
    • Gophers=Hats=Happiness
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Because it is mandatory.
  • moo
    • Comments
    • moo
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • moo
  • bill
    • Comments
    • cool!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • reasons!!
  • Dachande
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • It just makes sense.
  • Ishmail Raheed PlatinumMecha
    • Comments
    • I think gophers need that more sophistohistohistopatemacted look nowadays.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Yes sir...gophers have ugly heads and hats will cover it from the world.
  • UnderHero5
    • Comments
    • It's obvious that they need hats.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • because they are golphers... and they should have hats on.
  • Christopher Bews
    • Comments
    • If gophers had hats, the world would be more complete.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Many gophers have complained to me personally about scorched heads. The sun does no good for them, and hats are the answer!
  • Joe Molotov
    • Comments
    • Hats+ Gophers = A good way to use up those last few pictures on the roll
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Are you kidding? Hats on Gophers will solve almost every problem facing humanity these days. School shoots would be a thing of the past, gas prices would go down, overweight women would receive fair treatment in the work place,our public relations with China would be stengthed, and most of important of all, gambling would be legalized in Bulgaria. Say no to drugs, say yes to hat-wearing gophers.
  • Dizco5
    • Comments
    • Finally someone started this petition, I was just about to.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • The world would be a MUCH safer place if Gophers wore there hats.
  • mayssa
  • Kel
    • Comments
    • Go John!!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • To make this boring world a bit more interesting.
  • matt
    • Comments
    • Finally the little bastards will have to wear hats!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • to cove thier filthy litle heads
  • brian holland
    • Comments
    • You're an idiot
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • cause the author of the petition is an idiot!
  • Matthew Seymour
  • Henry
    • Comments
    • Oh, my giblets.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Because my giblets would be greasier than before, and things would seem oh so tasty and tangy. Even yo daddy would call it tangy. Yowza.
  • Eric Smith
  • Trish
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • I think they should wear strap-ons cause they're cute
  • Ryan
    • Comments
    • I'm drunk. Where's the creamed filling?
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Gophers are disgustingly unfashionable.
  • krish karunanidhi
    • Comments
    • gophers should all have fitted hats of their favorite sports team
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • beats me.
  • Hayden Scott-Baron
    • Comments
    • This is inspired
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • because their offensive craniums are bulbous and hideous
  • Brian
  • Suzy
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • why SHOULDNT they wear hats?
  • Teddy
  • Billy Chandler
  • Bob Dole
    • Comments
    • VOTE FOR DOLE IN '04!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • In order for America to thrive, we need to protect our children from the filthy view of Gopher heads. DOLE IN '04!
  • candy G.P.
  • Rodents are cute
    • Comments
    • Gophers should wear jimmy hats at all times. Horny little bastards.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • OVERPOPULATION!!!!!!!!!
  • Alexa
    • Comments
    • those damn gophers....
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • i dont understand this part
  • Tiffany
  • danny
    • Comments
    • preach it brother theyve slacked for too long
  • Johnny Knoxville Part 2
    • Comments
    • Damn Gophers.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • I think that gophers have gone without hats for too long. I remember when I was a young lad, and gophers wouldn't wear hats when they should've. I thought to my self on that day " These gophers should be wearing hats, its a f*ckin shame. Someone should take matters into their own hands..." And that day has arrived, this is a fight I wanna be a part of.
  • James floyd Weisbeck
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • it will keep them cooler
  • Bilbo Baggins
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • No, but i'm signing it anyway.
  • MR Paroxysm
    • Comments
    • Damn straight!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Because a hatless gopher is disgusting!
  • John Dough
    • Comments
    • can they be colors that clash with brown fur?
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • 'Cause hats are IN, baby!
  • Fredrik Skarstedt
    • Comments
    • This cause rocks.
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Cause they are friggin ugly.
  • Michael Bess
    • Comments
    • We need more petitions like this! Hell yeah and beavers too!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Man, if gophers didn't wear hats then they'd get sunburnt when they look to see if winter is over, and will be afraid to come out. And winter would never end, and that's just not right!
  • Aaron H Lee
    • Comments
    • cool
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • I dunno what you're talking about
  • Dustin Rice
    • Comments
    • 
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • It would be indecent to allow them to walk around with bare heads!
  • Brandon Vessey
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • because hats + gophers = cool
  • Spanky
  • a
    • Comments
    • a
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • a
  • Joe Pritch
    • Comments
    • Gophers suck
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • They should wear them because they're ugle SOBs
  • Aaron
    • Comments
    • midgets should be in every movie
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • so should midgets!
  • Dan McCullough
    • Comments
    • gophers are cool!! I love gophers
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Yes, because i wear a hat when i go to fight crime!!!!
  • Smith Gregg
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Because otherwise we wouldn't have Fun Dip, now would we?
  • Anh Mie Dong
    • Comments
    • Looks like we've got a regular comedian on our hands. Do I detect another little Carrot Top budding out there somewhere in Internet land?
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • I am just doubled over in hysterical laughter reading this nutty petition! Tears are clouding my eyes. Gophers! Boy, that's rich! You really are a card!
  • Sean Brewer
    • Comments
    • Heh!
    • Why Should They Wear Hats, Do You Believe?
    • Yes! All gophers should wear hats!
  • Arthur Chase
  • Wren Jones