Brian Burks Is the Fattest Man In the World

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We the undersigned are formally petitioning Guinness World Records to officially recognize Brian Burks as the fattest man in the world. We demand that this once credible institution rectify their erroneous claim that Manuel Uribe is the rightful holder of this title. Compared to Brian Burks (aliases: Big Fat Brian Y'All, Mod Wang), Uribe is svelte, physically attractive, and leads an active lifestyle. If any example is needed, consider that Uribe recently made headlines for getting married to a loving partner: a dream Burks could never hope to achieve. By continuing to publish this falsehood worldwide, the organization not only damages its own reputation, but robs Burks of the international disgust he so richly deserves. We will not rest until our voice is heard and this truth becomes common knowledge.

24 Signatures

Derrick S
- Comments
- Keep up the good fight, my brother! We shall overcome!
Patlick Rim
- Comments
- Big Mac, McDRT, a Qualtel-Poundel with some cheese, Firet-O-Fish, a hambulgel, a cheesebulgel, a Happy Mear. McNuggets, tasty gorden flench flies, legural ol ralgel size, and sarads: chef ol galden, ol a chicken sarad olientar. Big Big Bleakfast, Egg McMuffin, hot hot cakes, and sausage. Maybe biscuits, bacon, egg and cheese, a sausage, danish, hash blowns too. And fol desselt hot appre pies, and sundaes thlee valieties, a soft-selve cone, thlee kinds of shakes, and chocoratey chip cookies. And to dlink a Coca-Cora, Diet Coke, and olange dlink, A Splite and coffee, decaf too, A rowfat mirk, arso an olange juice. I rove McDonard's, good time gleat taste, and I get this arr at one prace...
Ken
- Comments
- POWER POP PUNK PORK
SOIDBOTT'M
- Comments
- TOO FACKIN' ROIGHT, SAN!! WE'LL GET TH' FAT FACKER IN THE OL' GUINNESS, ROIGHT NEXT TO YOURS TRULY, NAMBER ONE PAKOI BASHER!!!!
Eric S
- Comments
- This is a cause I can get behind.
Derek Sidebottom
- Comments
- Brian Burks is FAT! He defines FAT!
Ade Denny, Mental As Fack
- Comments
- OI!! 'E'S A FAT FACKER!! G'NOIGHT LUV OI SEZ TO ME CAT!!
ARIC SS, 'ARD BARSTARD
- Comments
- SORT IT OUT GUINEAS!! TH'TS YER JOB, INNIT?!! BOFBY IS ONE FAT CANT!!!
Benjamin Domenici
- Comments
- BBBRRRAAAHHHHSSSKKKIIIISSSS!!!
Liam
- Comments
- Brian Burks is stupid, ignorant, pig-headed, pig-faced and, most of all, fat.
The DOK
- Comments
- He's so fat even my vision trembles under his mighty weight.
Adrian Denning's Daughter
- Comments
- I am a Yorkshire pudding.
George Starostin
- Comments
- Brian Burks is one of history's greatest monsters.
Pete Anderson
Ricky Flahive
- Comments
- What did he ever do to you excdept be a fat looser?
Manuel Uribe
- Comments
- God, what a f*cking fatass!
Jugdish
- Comments
- FNEH!!!
John Mc
- Comments
- HE. DOES. NOT. EAT. VEGETABLES.
INTERNATIONAL THREAD RESCUE
- Comments
- BREAKER! BREAKER! ABANDON PETITION!
Patrick Lim
- Comments
- He's fat
The Voice Of Wisdom
- Comments
- Follow the Ninth Commandment: "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbour". To this end, we need to recognize that Manuel Uribe is *not* the world's fattest man.
Chris Willie Williams
- Comments
- He is a huge fatass.
D.B.
- Comments
- Let's make this official
justin powers
- Comments
- hes fat