Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto
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We, the undersigned, in order to improve the moviegoing experience for all theater patrons, pledge to:
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
674 Signatures
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Jeff G
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James S
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Melanie
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TSP. C
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Eric S
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AJ James B
- Comments
- We the undersigned did not pay for your jack ass commentary (Nicholas Cage films excluded)
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Doree
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Adam S
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Scott C
- Comments
- Amen!
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Ambrose B
- Comments
- Please send information
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Raj R
- Comments
- I support this, especially regarding people who just have to talk. Ushers should be more empowered to shush them.
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David K
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Chad W
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Christian
- Comments
- Learn it. Know it. Love it. Shut it!
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Matt L
- Comments
- If most movie theaters did a better job of cleaning up, I might agree with the last one. Other than that, I am all in.
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Tom P
- Comments
- Amen.
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Kassie L
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David M
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Richard C S
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Sarah
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Rob c
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Rebecca G
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Joseph F
- Comments
- I have always loved going to the movies. And more and more I hate going to the movie theatre. There is no truer statment today then that one...
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Ezra
- Comments
- I agree with the Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto. Shut up and watch the movie people!
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Patricia L
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Amy Marrero D
- Comments
- OMG I love this and want you and all the rest of the undersigned in the movie theater every time I see a movie from now on!
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Brent M
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Ian S
- Comments
- В
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Sharonanne A
- Comments
- I cant go to movies anymore because of the problems listed here... they need to endorse and enforce these!
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Samuel W
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Chris G
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Matthew B
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Jeff L
- Comments
- Brilliant!
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Matthew A
- Comments
- I don't pay $10 to have provincial yahoos yammering in my ear. I can get that at home for free.
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Nathan H
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Alex C
- Comments
- If not for #8A, I would have had to forego signing this on the count of #8. I've worked in a theatre before and had to clean up after many able-bodied folk who felt too entitled to pick up their trays of nacho cheese. To say nothing about the mice I've seen in some theatres.
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Bob F
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Jeff S
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Kiahna
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Ciro F
- Comments
- Number 5 needs a rider for stadium seating. If it's flat seating, yeah, leave the front one open, but if it's stadium, there's no way I'm giving some fat-ass some place to stick his huge effing feet. If you need two stadium seats, pay for two stadium tickets.
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Joe
- Comments
- Love it! Wish more would sign
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Cris D
- Comments
- if this works, perhaps you can make a restaurant manifesto, airplane travel manifesto, etc... to address the general decline in etiquette and common consideration.
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Niall O
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Meredith I
- Comments
- Here! Here!
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Louis M
- Comments
- Should be the law in every theater chain
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Rachel L. H
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Ricky R
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Jack G
- Comments
- This must be enforced!
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JD H
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Shahbaz S
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674
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