Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto
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We, the undersigned, in order to improve the moviegoing experience for all theater patrons, pledge to:
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
674 Signatures
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Michael C
- Comments
- Thank you! I barely go to movies anymore because of the a-holes. The texting during movies is just as bad as leaving the ringer on. Movie lovers need to take the theaters back!
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Daniel Joseph B
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- No dogs hidden under jackets either.
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Katrina A
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Rob S
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Deborah N
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Nate
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Kristen P
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Jonathan C. S
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Corbin B
- Comments
- Hell yeah!!
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Christopher T
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Tony G
- Comments
- Hell yeah!
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Geoffrey M
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Danny S
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Jack K
- Comments
- I would add - please do not arrive late to the film. There are already twenty minutes of previews before it starts, so there's not any excuse. Latecomers are always distracting and usually the loudest and most obnoxious people in the theater.
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Daniel
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Scott B
- Comments
- Well said! One of the most distracting additions to theatres of recent is the introduction of the cellphone... if texting could be quelled, I would be a much happier man at the movies! Every time a phone's light comes on, you can't help but be distracted by it in a dark room, and it abruptly pulls you out of the film's atmosphere that it's tried so hard to create, and then I have to start all over again with getting involved with the picture. It's so frustrating for a true admirer of film and the theatre setting.
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Steven T
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Bret D
- Comments
- word.
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Austin B
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- We are not in your living room, please shut up!
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Praj
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Erin
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- I hate going to the movies now, which is sad because I'm missing out on sharing experiences with my family. It makes me hyperventilate just thinking about going to a movie now. Sick.
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T
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Matthew P
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Cecelia M
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Melissa G
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Phoebe D
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Stephen
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David B
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Esther Sinai E
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Timothy P
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Gerard L
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- Going to the movies is too much hard work these days. Let's agree to make it a more pleasant experience for each other.
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Adam Y
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Jeremy C
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- I agree with all but number 8, though I understand its existence on this list.
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Carlo S
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Shane
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Patricia B
- Comments
- THANK you for speaking out!!!!
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Mungo M
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- Need to go medieval on anyone who violates movie theater etiquette. But that's just my opinion.
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O. H
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Denese
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- I was nodding in agreement up until Number 8. That one bothered me, but with the adding of 8a. I felt better about. I don't believe there is any reason to be a slob at the theater or anywhere. Your mess makes it uncomfortable for the person sitting beside you during the movie as much as after. But...that being said...I am all about the rest of it.
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Sue B
- Comments
- Let's make this so!
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Paul C
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Micah D
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Katherine E
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Juan Carlo R
- Comments
- I am so translating this and putting it up on my blog. You think you have it bad? Come to some movie theaters in Venezuela
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Scott T
- Comments
- Preach!
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Tanya
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Jeremy K
- Comments
- Thank you Matt.
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Josй A. Rivas G
- Comments
- Everithing but the last one. if not, how is this petition titled with the world "etiquette" in it?
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Lauren F
- Comments
- As author of High and Lo (highandlo.wordpress.com) My readers and I could not support this more!!!
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K. P
- Comments
- Please, for the love of all things humane, turn off your cell phones. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
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674
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