Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto
-
Author:
n/a -
Send To:
The World
-
Sponsored By:
-
More Info at:
We, the undersigned, in order to improve the moviegoing experience for all theater patrons, pledge to:
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
1. SHUT OUR MOUTHS. Talking is permitted up to and including the trailers (we, the undersigned, also pledge to make fun of anyone who shushes people for talking over the MovieTickets.com ad). After that, we will be quiet. Valid exceptions: midnight movies and any film starring Nicolas Cage.
2. TURN OFF OUR CELL PHONES WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. And on the off-chance we have a job that requires us to leave our phone on, we, the undersigned, pledge to sit in the back row of the theater so no one behind us is disturbed when we check it (please note: fantasy football manager does not qualify as a job that demands you leave your phone on).
3. NEVER BRING A BABY TO AN R-RATED MOVIE. Do you know why your baby is crying? Because it's 10:30 at night and you're forcing it to watch a man with knives for fingers use a naked woman as a whetstone.
4. NEVER BRING LOUD, STINKY FOOD INTO THE THEATER. This is the rule about outside food: nothing crunchy, nothing smelly. The worst possible thing you can bring to a movie (besides, y'know, a weapon) is Chinese takeout. People who bring Chinese takeout in crackly plastic containers should receive one warning. A second violation gets you a lifetime ban.
5. SIT DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS AVAILABLE. Only a-holes sit directly in front of someone they don't know just because they "like" that seat.
6. LEAVE A BUFFER SEAT BETWEEN OURSELVES AND STRANGERS WHENEVER POSSIBLE. Only psychopaths sit immediately next to a stranger when they can sit somewhere else. True story: one time a guy sat down directly next to we, the undersigned, in a theater with dozens of empty seats. He wore his sunglasses through the entire film and occasionally turned and stared at we for minutes at a time. We, the undersigned, promise never to be that guy.
7. NEVER PUT OUR CRAP ON A SEAT AND PRETEND WE'RE HOLDING IT FOR SOMEONE JUST SO NO ONE SITS NEXT TO US. Genuine seat saving is totally acceptable. Fake seat saving so you have extra space to stretch out is a dick move.
8. THROW OUR GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. The movie theater is the only public space in the world where it is socially acceptable to act like a pig. That is the way it has always been, that is the way it always shall be. We, the undersigned, vow that no matter how many times multiplexes include "Please Throw Away Your Trash" messages in their pre-show entertainment, we will continue to ignore them.
674 Signatures
-
Nathaniel
- Comments
- В
-
Patrick F
- Comments
- This is why I go to the Arclight almost exclusively.
-
Kelly D
- Comments
- cool idea!
-
Rebecca B
- Comments
- amen
-
Paul M
- Comments
- Amen to that!
-
Catie H
- Comments
- YES!!!! I don't like it when people don't throw their trash away, or when they sit directly in front of you when you are trying to watch the movie just because they like that seat, when kids talk and predict what will happen next and ask questions, and loud and crunchy food that is distracting to others. These are the things that i don't care for when i go to movies. FIX IT!
-
Cheryl L
-
Jamie K
- Comments
- Bring back old movie palaces and do away with the snotty rude brats on cellphones!
-
Steven P
- Comments
- В
-
Jordan T
- Comments
- В
-
Frances M S
-
David C
-
Gwendolen L
- Comments
- Bravo!
-
Tanya D
- Comments
- В
-
Adam J E
- Comments
- As an fx-artist, moviegoer, and past theater projectionist; I hereby pledge to always uphold and respect the laws spelled out in the Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto.
-
Shayera T
-
Dawn W
-
Kyla J
- Comments
- Amen and amen.
-
Greg
-
Marie H
- Comments
- They should bring back ushers.
-
Eric P
-
Steve p
-
Lee W
- Comments
- finally, a cause i can get behind.
-
Steven M
-
Nick B
-
Katherine K
- Comments
- I totally agree.
-
Mike S
-
Andrew B
- Comments
- enforce some rules or lose my business, I seldom go to the movies due to bad begavior
-
Scott M
-
Diane S
- Comments
- if ONLY this could really pass I would consider going to the movies again. For now, no way will I subject myself to primitive behavior that I actually have to pay for.
-
Penny E
-
BRIAN P
- Comments
- The movie theater is not your frickin living room, people. I'm not 100\% behind #8 - the people who leave first end up creating an obstacle course for those who follow. Maybe I'd feel better about it if theaters added some kind of gutter system to catch the trash or replace their floors with killing floor-type grills.
-
Cecilia
- Comments
- Absolutely! Except for the last one, number 8.. those are poor, underpaid folks cleaning up after our mess. :(
-
Persephone G
- Comments
- Preach :: choir
-
Erika the G
- Comments
- Hell Yeah! I hate rude theater-goers...
-
Leith
-
Gabriela A
- Comments
- LOVED IT! You forgot to include that hooking up in a theater is gross.
-
Gabriela A
- Comments
- LOVED IT! You forgot to include that hooking up in a theater is gross.
-
Glen K
-
corie
- Comments
- hell yes!
-
Ali A
-
Ed T
-
Peter I
-
j
-
Rachel S
-
g E C
-
LaKesh M C J
- Comments
- It is about time! I have been attending tuesday matinees for years now because of the attrocious movie manners of others.
-
Kristen Rush-De A
-
Donald W
- Comments
- Theatres should take responsibility for the behavior of minority of people who ruin the experience for the rest of us...It's one reason my moviegoing has dimmished a great deal in the last couple of years.
-
James F
-
674
Signatures! - View Signatures
- Sign Petition