I. Don't. Care. About. Michael. Jackson. I may like his music. I may not. I may once have cared about Michael Jackson, but that was a very, very, very long time ago. I certainly don't think, however, that his current criminal trial deserves over 1,000 credentialed press. I'm sick of seeing his face on CNN. And MSNBC. And Fox News. And The New York Times. And USA Today. And E! And People. And US Weekly. And the supermarket tabloids. And Entertainment Tonight. And Access Hollywood. And Extra. And The Insider. And SNL. And Leno. And Conan. And Letterman. And Jimmy Kimmel. And that scottish guy on CBS late night. I'm even wary of seeing Jon Stewart make fun of all the attention Michael Jackson's receiving.

So, to those who make the decisions about these things, I make the following promise: If I see anything about Michael Jackson in any of the above media outlets or any other media outlet -- if the stars suddenly align to form his likeness, even -- I will look away, change the channel, turn the page, not buy the magazine, and otherwise BOYCOTT any and all coverage of this sad sad sad man and the circus his life has now become.