Draft the Tards

Author:
n/a
Send To:
President George W. Bush

Sponsored By:
The Mindset Army
More Info at:

We understand the current situation in which, in order to meet its recruitment goals, the military is having to resort to such methods as lowering their standards to include high school dropouts and people with health problems and forcing people who already did their time to serve second and third tours of duty. Keep in mind, we have no problem with this sort of backdoor draft, but eventually there's going to come a time when even it won't be enough to fill the military's need for fresh cannon fodder, as the "situation" in Iraq continues with seemingly no end in sight and new situations develop in seemingly every other shithole of a country in the region.

As long as they're lowering the standards so much anyway, we wonder why they don't just start drafting retarded people to go over there. They already send their recruiters down to inner city high schools where a lot of the kids can't read anyway; drafting retards would really only be like, a half-step down the intellectual ladder. While you could argue that we've lost some talented people in the past 3 years, or however long it's been since the war began, we don't think you could argue in this case at all that we'd be losing anything by sending the short bus crowd over there. In fact, just think of the money we'd save having to house and maintain these people over the course of a lifetime.

So really, the only problem that's standing in the way of solving the military's recruitment problems, at least for quite some time, are the kind of people who don't think it's fair to send tards off to fight in a war. On the contrary, we don't think it's fair to send lucid, able-bodied men and women who've got children to support (lest the rest of us have to pick up the tab) over there to risk life and limb when we've got a whole class of basically expendable citizens that does nothing other than sit around and leach off and/or prey on (of course the homeless would be included in this program) the rest of society.

47 Signatures

geekbird
- Comments
- retards are retarded
Steve
- Comments
- I did 20yrs, and you tried to call me back...Unleash the Tards!!
Bol
- Comments
- Dude, we almost lost Steve.
Dan Lanoue
- Comments
- В
thomas cirillo
Andrew Hammack
- Comments
- I am retarded and want to go to war. please send me.
Gonzo Hoffa
- Comments
- Free Pimp C
BK
Amy Dunne
- Comments
- SEND THEM ALL!!! plus i love millitary men, ill suck everyone of thier cocks
Fags
- Comments
- This petition is on the road to no where
geekbird
- Comments
- Well, that's not fair fag, you're not effected by the draft because you're a homo...but thanks for signing the petition anyway
Tdub Wolfweb
- Comments
- I'm a retard that voted for BUSH. draft me please.
jon ware
Casey McConnell
- Comments
- i am gay, retarded, and ready for war!!!!
Nick Stalick's Uncle
- Comments
- Hi. I am nickie's uncle. i am a total tard, he hates me, i want to die in Iraq
Johnny Whitewater
- Comments
- The Most Worthy Petition I've Ever Seen
The Pope
rec
- Comments
- I just wanted to see what my name would look like on a petition.
R M
Kanye West
David Comisford
- Comments
- В
chaun
- Comments
- DRAFT THE TARDS, DRAFT THE TARDS
Marianne Moalaeua
Nicholas Kern
Patricia Kern
Alan Cabal
- Comments
- Never forget the 6,000,000 tards that perished in the tragic events of September 11
George W. Bush
- Comments
- Y'all caint fool me. This here is a petishun to get me drafted. Well I ain't uh gonna sign it! Ooops! I already did sign it ... DOH!
Bill Mortenson
- Comments
- send them all to HELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary McKnight
- Comments
- I agree. It can give the word "special forces" a new meaning.
Svinge Svjornsblatt
- Comments
- we Tards want play guns in irak fun blood
Allegra
- Comments
- The Tards are already here! Well, some of us are, anyway.
Jacqueline Frank
- Comments
- Let Charles Rangal be the first to go to Iraq since he thinks the draft will solve all of our problems!
Holden McCrank
Taffy
- Comments
- you could adopt orphans and rasie them as soliders
Garret
- Comments
- Hits two birds with one stone!
Jade Afton
Dick Fitzwell
- Comments
- Interrogations will be a hoot!
Cheryl Heath
isaac kissinger
- Comments
- this is great
Harley memis
Mikie DeMong
- Comments
- Mmmmmuuugggggghh!!
Michael Collins
Mike Awkinassis
- Comments
- land o' the free & home o' the brave......tards rule!!!
Cody Sortore
- Comments
- LMFAO!!!! Hell yeah! Makes total sense, why would we send all these men and women who are perfectly capable of making money and contributing to society when we have a whole class of meat shields that could go in front of them?
Rose Carlton
- Comments
- OMG.... LMFAO!!!! This is horribly brilliant... I especially agree with including the homeless, I mean our government's not doing a damn thing to fix their plight so - why not give them real jobs, like going to war?
Carl Childers
- Comments
- sign me up