Valve Corporation,

As avid fans of Team Fortress 2 and experienced internet miscreants, many of us were disappointed by your company's recent blog post regarding measures being taken against users of external idling programs (http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2787). Specifically, we regret that the post was not written from the point of view of the Team Fortress 2 Announcer, which has been the procedure for previous blog posts regarding similar matters of illicitly obtained items (http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2262 ; http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2293)

Without the Announcer's harsh, cold, and abusive tone, we fear that us vile no-gooders will not receive the necessary doses of guilt, humiliation and fear for our personal safety that we need to put us back on the straight and narrow. Although Mr. Erik Johnson is without a doubt an esteemed individual, capable of great depths of harsh coldness himself, it takes a very special brand of harsh coldness to deal with certain brands of internet failures, a brand we feel can only be delivered by the Announcer herself. A successful blog post reprimanding the TF2 fan base must run so thick with her austere authority and scorn that they can't help but feel her icy stare, smell the ashes of her cigarettes, hear the blood-curdling rustle of her memos and paperwork as she recounts your every miserable shortcoming, every flaw in your feeble mind, every way you have completely and utterly failed her.

We hope that you will agree with us, and see fit to update your blog with a more appropriate post for the issues at hand.