Spring forward my ass...

To:  The American People

On March 14th, 2010, the American people will have to undergo yet another tragedy. No, it's not the economic downturn, the unemployment rate or the mortgage crisis. It's the dreaded Daylight Savings Time. This petition will hopefully spark a TIME for change. A need for an extra hour of sleep. This year, I won't be "rolling ahead" at 2 a.m. I intend to get my full 8 hours (10-12 if I've been binge drinking). Why is this petition for next year instead of this year, you ask? Well because I didn't know it was Daylight Savings Time until the night before. That's why. It doesn't make this any less important. Moving along. To counter this blasphemy known as Daylight Savings Time, I intend to implement a plan that will give every American one more extra hour of sleep each year. For example, in 2010, you'll get one extra hour of sleep. In 2011, you'll get two extra hours of sleep. In 2012, you'll get three extra hours of sleep. This will continue until said hours have run out. How will I do this, you ask? Well I'm not really sure yet, but trust me, it'll happen, even if I have to go back to my native planet Kronosyth and adjust the space/time continuum. The US Department of Transportation claims to have started Daylight Savings Time as an attempt to save energy, prevent crime and traffic injuries. After countless hours of my own dedicated research, I discovered that 1,000,000 bus drivers lose their jobs the day after Daylight Savings Time is implemented due to them falling asleep WHILE DRIVING! Who pays the salary for bus drivers? THE US DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION. Get where I'm going with this? Good. If you're still reading, I hope you will find that it's not time to "spring forward", but a time to umm..umm..."insert catchy phrase here". I pray that you will jump off the bandwagon and sign this petition. It's not time to spring forward, it's time for change. Catchy enough? Sign it! If you're not with me, you're against me. And trust me, you don't want to get on my bad side. Yes, that's a threat :)

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The Spring forward my ass... Petition to The American People was created by tired people and written by EJ GRANT (springforwardmyass@gmail.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.