WHEREAS the Alumni of the Stanford Harmonics have been long-standing and heartfelt supporters of the Stanford Harmonics regardless;

And WHEREAS the Alumni of Stanford Harmonics have lent their blood, sweat, tears, and $5 admission to ensure the prosperity of the Stanford Harmonics;

And WHEREAS their drunken, unsolicited participation at ShamROCK is guaranteed to distract the group and cause audience members to become uncomfortable;

We, the undersigned Alumni of the Stanford Harmonics, heretofore request -- nay, demand -- reserved VIP seats at ShamROCK (to be held at Manzanita Dining on March 7, 2009). Don't fuck with us, bitches.