We, the undersigned, call upon Pope Benedict the something or other to bestow a well-earned sainthood on one Niall Quinn, chairman of Sunderland Association Football Club, restorer of faith, bringer of light and all-round messianic one.

Admittedly, this would merely be placing the papal seal on the informal one Sunderland fans have bestowed on 'Saint' Niall, but we imagine you'd like to get credit, oh holy Father. As for miracles achieved, consider the following:

1) turning a moribund football club into a flying carpet
2) setting in motion the Keane revolution
3) restoring faith and hope to a region
4) scoring very nice goals indeed for SAFC (if the Vatican's got broadband, we suggest you try searching under 'Niall Quinn Newcastle' on YouTube)

We understand that this is usually conferred on the dead, but would like the Pope to make an exception in this case, if that's alright with him. If it's not, waiting sixty years or so would be preferable to smiting him, if that's all the same to you, your Popeness.

Ta.