No More Meat for Cougars!

To:  All animal-loving people

It is wrong for a living thing to eat another living thing. That is why we, the undersigned, were disgusted when we read the following news:

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/08/18/Cougar_new040818.html

Humans are people too! Some may argue that it is only natural for a cougar to want to eat a human because that's what its instincts tell them to do or because they need the food to live, but if a person can live on a steady diet of fruits and vegetables than so can a cougar.

That's why we ask you to join us on our quest to capital hill to achieve our goal: finally making it illegal for a Cougar to eat a human. It is WRONG and UNFAIR to humans that cougars are allowed to hunt down and kill AT WILL only to satiate their own primal urges for delicious child meat.

Under our plan, eating a human will be met with a punishment of fines up to $500, or a jail sentence of up to three months if the cougar does not have enough to pay. This may seem "harsh" or "too severe of a penalty" or "fucking stupid" but cougars must be held accountable for their actions.

We suggest the following alternatives for cougars who may not feel they can stop eating meat:

1. Tofu, it's delicious!
2. Bananas! We're just bananas for bananas! Seriously, they're about all we eat.
3. Peanut butter, for that all important protein.
4. Cake-- Made with animal-free egg substitute, of course! Haha!

See? It is entirely possible for a cougar to survive on Tofu and cake, and there is absolutely NO reason that cougar should have to eat another rabbit or small child EVER again.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

The No More Meat for Cougars! Petition to All animal-loving people was created by and written by Peace Love Flower (asininespectacle@yahoo.com).  This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. For technical support please use our simple Petition Help form.

Send this to a friend