Superman 5 Movie Script

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    Producers and Director of the film tentatively titled Superman 5
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To the producers and director of the upcoming movie tentatively called Superman 5:

We, the undersigned, wish to implore you to commission another script. The one written by J. J. Abrams destroys much of which makes the characters and the stories of the Superman universe great. Please do not use this script and create one which is closer to the Superman we all know and love!

Specific grievances with the Superman script:
1) Jimmy Olsen is gay.

Jimmy Olsen is not gay. Or at least not out of the closet. Being a dork does not make one gay.

2) Superman ignores people in trouble in order to flirt with Lois Lane

Superman is the perfect embodiment of a Boy Scout. He would NEVER abandon anyone in need just to flirt with Lois Lane.

3) Krypton doesn't explode. It's in the middle of a civil war and that's why his father sent him away.

This is KEY to the character of Superman! He is a man without a home, so he makes Earth his home and promises to protect it and its inhabitants.

4) Lex Luthor is a Kryptonian bent on destroying Earth

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Lex Luthor is a corporate businessman. He's not an evil person. He's simply greedy and has no morals when it comes to getting what he wants. The reason he wants to destroy Superman is because Superman interferes with his more shadowy deals. Lex Luthor would NOT want to destroy the Earth. If he kills all the humans, who will by LexCorp products?

5) Superman's powers come from his suit, not from the sun.

No, that's Iron Man. Or Steel. Or Green Lantern. Or Jackie Chan in The Tuxedo. It's not a ring or a suit or a cape or anything else that gives Superman his powers. It's the fact that Krypton orbited a red star and Earth orbits a yellow star. The different rays have an effect on Kryptonian physiology and give them super powers.

Again, I plead with you. For my sake, for the sake of every other Superman fan, and for your own sake. PLEASE abandon this ridiculous parody of a Superman film script and have a new one written. You want to make a Superman film because the character is one of the best-selling comic books of all time. There is an audience built for this film. Do not hurt yourself and the future of DC-based superhero films by destroying some of the very elements that make us love Superman. The comic is successful because the fans love the stories and love the characters. When you change them, you change the very thing that makes them successful.